I know for sure that I get this handicapped feeling sometimes when it comes to writing. I won't deny that I'm not feeling it right now as I blog, and I wonder if this has to do with my confidence/fear of what the readers might think/a mental block. I guess perhaps it's a little bit of everything rolled into one. Ever so often, I'd wait for my muse to spring before I get into the mood of writing. Funny I think it's easier for me to speak what comes to mind instead of penning them down. In other words, it is more natural for the former. Maybe it's because for mild grammatical or vocabulary errors, it would be more convenient for them to be dismissed or go unnoticed when used in speech rather than when seen on paper. What do you think?
Born and bred in Singapore, like every other Singaporean Chinese, I've been taught both English and Chinese as a Mother Tongue subject as early as kindergarten. But I've always dreaded Chinese classes, and I certainly found the language a bane to my existence. The strokes are so complicated and I still find it a tough struggle to express myself speaking with the language, let alone write. Sometimes it gets embarassing.
And I think I know where my Mom was coming from whenever she jokes and says "Teochew nang bui hiao da teochew wei" (which means a Teochew who can't speak Teochew). But honestly, being Teochew does not quite put a pressure on me to learn the language well, and perhaps I can't deny that my sheer ignorance is to be blamed.
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Learning a language, no matter which, is not easy. But being able to use so many different languages is a feat not many can achieve. In this sense, you (and other fellow Singaporeans) are much better off than many people in the world and should be duly proud of yourself.
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